A Placebo for Paranoid Parents

2012-01-27T08:42:00.002-06:00

I had a dream last night that behind my house was a large acreage. It was nice, until the wolves and bears started showing up and causing havoc. We would go out on the deck, and then have to go back in a few minutes later so we didn't get eaten. I can't quite remember, but I think in the dream, a bear killed my kid. It may have been something else, but what ever it was caused a minor annoyance.

Dreams are stupid, if a bear really killed one of my sons it would not be a minor annoyance, it would cause major grief. Is the part of the mind that registers grief turned off when we sleep? I don't think that was the most stupid part of the dream, though.

When the bears showed up, I tried to drive them away with the power of my electric guitar. In the dream it worked, I played horribly (like normal) and loud and the bears went away. Then my amp broke and the bears came back. I tried to get my shotgun to shoot the bears, but there was a problem with that, too. Eventually the fire department saved us. The drove a firetruck into my back yard and started shooting the bears with paintball guns. It was really like something you'd see in a movie--the army crashes an armed transport through the fence, the soldiers hop out and start shooting the bad guys. It was just like that, only with a fire truck, firefighters with paintball guns and bears.

Firefighters and Bears would be a good name for a band.

Black Oneday

2011-10-26T08:23:00.000-05:00

I heard my wife talking on the phone, "What are you going to dress up like for Black Oneday?".

Black Oneday, what a stupid name. What a stupid day. On November one, all the stores have doorbuster sales. The shoppers dress up in Halloween costumes the night of October thrity-one and wait in line. It seemed like there was a time when people did things for Halloween besides shop, but I can't really remember that far back. But what do you expect when Thanksgiving is the biggest retail holiday in the country?

If it were just for Black Oneday, it probably wouldn't be so bad, but it seems like we're overdoing Thanksgiving in general. They even have radio stations that start playing Thanksgiving music in September. There are only two Thanksgiving songs--"Simple Gifts" and "We Gather Together". There is even a secular Thanksgiving music station that only plays "Simple Gifts". It's named "Simple Gifts". Simple Gifts, a simple station for simple minded people.

How early is too early to start Thanksgiving Season? The big retail stores have been trying to make this last as long as possible. The term for it is Thanksgiving Creep. It's a funny term, I tend to think of a Thanksgiving Creep as the weird uncle who shows up for Thanksgiving dinner and no one is quite sure if he really is a relative or who invited him.

I try not to take sides in this "War on Thanksgiving", but I do think it's a little ridiculous when the temperature outside is in the 100s, and people are starting to put their Thanksgiving decorations up. They say Americans consume 1 million tons of fake leaves every year. I remember when people used to pay people to take away the leaves.

I have to go--my wife and I are going to see a Thanksgiving movie with some friends. They're all the same--a combined message that the spirit of Thanksgiving is about being with family and spending money on Thanksgiving merchandise. They're very subtle with the second point, but it's still there. The Hollywood executives know there's a symbiotic relationship between the success of retail market during Thanksgiving and their ability to make profit off of throw-away Thanksgiving movies.

I better stop complaining, though. People might get the impression I don't like Thanksgiving. I do like Thanksgiving--it's my favorite holiday. At least it used to be...

2011-10-24T13:40:00.004-05:00

If you're going to point out someone else's mistake, you should first point out something they did well. At least, that's what you're supposed to do to maintain polite, friendly relationships with people.

Unfortunately, I've been subjected to this enough to know that when I get paid a compliment, it's only because the person compliment me wants to point out a flaw. I may be exaggerating a bit, more often than not, they need to point out a problem that I need to fix. I am an engineer, fixing problems is what I do. I am used to dealing with having problems pointed out. What is far more painful is when this technique is used to point out what someone believes to be a personal flaw. It could be the person believes I behaved improperly or issues a warning. A wise person can take criticism, though, so I try to listen to the criticism and see if it is valid.

The problem, though, is that some people only offer compliments right before they offer criticism. There a two thing that happen as the result of that:
1. You don't hear the compliment.
2. You develop a conditioned response to put up your defenses whenever you get a compliment.

Seriously, someone comes up to me and says, "I really liked what you did..."
In my head I think, "Great, what did I do wrong now?".

I don't know the solution to that, but how well I take the criticism depends less on whether or not it was softened with a compliment, but whether or not I trust the person it came from.

whatever.

Yesterday though, our pastor had a good sermon, but one of his slides had a reference written wrong. I used the old compliment, then correct tactic. I only offered the correction, in case he wanted to update his slides later, but what seemed to happen is that the correction I offered seemed to undermine my compliment. I wished I had only offered the compliment, because to me, that was far more important than the error I noticed.

Dealing with people sucks. Why does it have to be so hard?

2011-10-21T09:58:00.001-05:00

This Greek crisis is interesting. I find it funny how the Greek people are protesting the austerity measures and going on strike. It's not funny that they have to go through those measures, and it's understandable that they are angry about what they have to give up.
It just seems as if they do not realize their leaders have no choice. It's pretty cut and dry:

Foreign investors will not throw good money after bad.
Greece needs foreign money.
Greece needs to convince investors it is fixing it's broken system.
Greek leaders impose painful measures in order to avoid far more painful circumstances.

My question is, why are there people protesting that? They might as well be protesting against gravity.

The more interesting question is how much does the current Greek situation parallel what we are in now? I am not talking about the occupy protests going on right now. I am talking more about our debt-powered economy. Personally, I have been against cuts in Federal spending until the economy improves, but isn't that the same argument the Greek protestors are making? Perhaps the difference is that the United States is not on the verge of defaulting on our debt. We still have foreign investors willing to loan us money. Austerity measures are not our only option. Even if we did take austerity measures, they would look far different. We also have our own currency, whereas Greece does not. I think that may be just as important to their situation.

I think Greece does offer a good example for us of non-sustainable socialism. All sorts of money flows down from the government, people get used to it, and when the money is no longer available, the citizens act like spoiled children who have to give up their iPhones because their dad lost his job. Actually, it may be worse than that. I would think if a family were going through a financial crisis, they might all rally together to try to scrape by. The Greeks seem hell-bent on destroying themselves.

Back to our situation though, when is our economy going to pick up enough steam that we can finally start running a surplus in our Federal budget again? Could we restructure our economy so we don't rely on debt?

2011-10-12T08:03:00.000-05:00

I saw a headline today:
U.S. aims to "unite the world" against Iran

It reminded me of a time I tried to unite my 6th grade class against a bully. It didn't work out so well.

I hope the U.S. government's attempt fares better than mine did.

2011-10-10T09:28:00.000-05:00

I was watching a football game yesterday, and the commentators were talking about Al Davis. They had a lot of good things to say about him.

Maybe part of this is my bias against the Raiders, but I didn't think there was all that much good to say about him. I think I did recently learn he was instrumental in the founding of the AFL and it's merger with the NFL. I don't know that resigning as commissioner just before the merger is really "instrumental".

It does seem odd the way the media tends to focus only on the good of a person's legacy after they die. Unless that person is a criminal. I don't recall Osama Bin Laden or Timothy McViegh being remembered for anything good.

But still, why do we put such a halo on the dead? I can understand only remembering the good if you're a family member or friend.

Along those lines, recommended reading: What Everyone Is Too Polite to Say About Steve Jobs
OK, so some of the criticisms of him are things I would think are common for most successful moguls/tycoons/CEOs:
Apple's products were made in foreign factories
Steve Jobs was a jerk

But still, at least there is someone out there not ready to immediately canonize Steve Jobs.

whatever.

http://grooveshark.com/s/Styrofoam+Plates/2pLPWq?src=5

2011-10-07T09:53:00.000-05:00

I have three or four things running through my ahead about the death of Steve Jobs:
1. Is the media making a bigger deal of him than he really was?
1.a. How will Apple fare over the next decade without him?
2. "We are the innovators--they are the imitators." Apple sure has plenty of imitators.
3. Thom Yorke from Radiohead was interviewed on NPR yesterday and referenced John Lennon saying, "It's not who you steal from, it's how you steal." Perhaps this applied equally well to a number of Apple's more successful innovations.

whatever.

2011-09-30T12:04:00.000-05:00

It's nice to get good news. Especially when you get a phone call with good news from someone who usually brings you bad news.

whatever.

2011-09-30T10:17:00.000-05:00

Is there a board game where cheating is part of the game? Not just something unscrupulous players do, but the goal of the game is to get away with cheating.

I hate to say it, but I think it would be fun. Let's say it's a game like poker. You would get so many points for a full house. You don't get a full house very often, so if you could stack the deck in your favor, you could get extra points for getting a hand that is otherwise rare. If you could prove after the fact that you cheated to get the full house, you would also get bonus points for conning the other players. If you got red-handed, though, you would lose a lot of points.

Now I remember the game--BS. BS is more about bluffing than cheating (though they're close--they both involve deception). BS is a good game--there is a marginal reward for bluffing, there is a certain amount of chance involved, but you still have to bluff to win, and the penalty for getting caught is large.

But the game I want involves cheating--not bluffing. Let's say there is a board with pieces (like Pictionary). Everyone is trying to be the first to the end. You could advance you piece a square or move someone else's away when they aren't looking. Everyone keeps a log of the movements, when the next turn comes, you declare you cheated, the other players check the logs and say, yes you did, and you get a bonus move. If one of the other players catches you in the act, they declare you are cheating and your piece goes back to the start, and the vigilante who caught you gets the bonus move.

Of course, if that were all there were to the game, it wouldn't be very fun--everyone would stare at the board the entire time waiting for someone to cheat. There would have to be a lot of things going on that distract people from the board. Pictionary, again, is a good example--everyone is watching the person drawing and not the board.

I'm going to have to think about this some more--I may be able to turn it into a real game...

2011-09-19T20:37:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel like you annoy everyone you come into contact with?

That happened to me today. I have a two-step plan for dealing with this.

1. Stop talking so much.
2. Stop caring if people are annoyed by me.

whatever.

2011-09-13T08:44:00.000-05:00

Last time I saw Thomas, he talked about how his sister planted seeds in his mind that turned him against the White Stripes. I thought it was ironic, because he did the same thing, somehow, to me and I stopped liking Dave Matthews. I remember reading something about the lead singer for Blue October is just one of those wankers with a guitar you see at parties trying to act hurt and artistic to pick up chicks. I can't listen to them anymore.

It is a weird process, you enjoy something without thinking about it, someone says something, and when you listen to the music, you can't help but think about what someone told you when you hear the music. You either lose interest or become so annoyed you can't stand it.

It's annoying, but rare. It is not like every bad thing someone has said about music I like has taken root in my brain. It usually comes from someone with similar taste. It also has to be a bit of a revelation that is undeniable, once made apparent. Again, I am going to borrow from Thomas's experience. I believe his sister said they were too much like Led Zeppelin (or trying too hard to be Led Zeppelin). Either way, I thought the same thing years ago. There is something to it. I think there are other problems with their music, like too much of it sounds the same and some albums seem to drag on and get caught in a rut with too-slow of a beat (Jack White is best when his music is energetic). But it never kept me from enjoying the White Stripes when I was in the mood to listen to them.

Josh recently shared an article from You are Not So Smart: The Perils of Introspection. One of the points of the article was that when people had to rationalize their taste in art, they enjoyed it less. I wonder if this is related to planting seeds of distaste. You enjoy something, something causes you to think about it in a different way, then you no longer enjoy it. Perhaps it's a stretch. It wouldn't be the first time I saw a link between two things that wasn't really there.

It still doesn't explain why, though. Why do these seeds--certain seeds in particular--have such a devastating effect on our ability to enjoy things we once loved?
whatever.

2011-09-02T09:01:00.000-05:00

I was listening to music and started tasting butter spritz cookies sprinkled with sugar crystals. I realized after a minute my music player (on shuffle) had randomly jumped to Christmas music. I hit the "next" button and the sensation went away.

I imagined this, right? I mean, the sensation is, of course, imaginary, but surely I didn't actually think I was eating a Christmas cookie without having anything in my mouth. Surely I invented this memory so I would have something to write about on my blog, right?

whatever.

2011-08-30T14:01:00.000-05:00

I had an idea for a TV show--Dystopia. Every episode would be a different dystopian society.

I don't know why, but I love dystopia stories. Is it that something is very wrong with the society, but everyone acts normal? Is it because every dystopia is someone's plan for the future gone to the extreme?

Maybe I'm just longing for an ancient era of television. I kind of put the Twilight Zone, Alfred Hitchcock Presents and Star Trek into a similar category. I know you probably think I'm crazy but lumping in Hitchcock with the other two, but what he managed to do so effectively with plot twists in otherwise ordinary stories, I think were things Twilight Zone and Start Trek tried to achieve--the element of mystery and suspense.
I don't know, but there is plenty of fodder for ideas. I like what the game Bioshock did with Ayn Rand's utopia from Atlas Shrugged. Another thing to keep in mind is that these Dystopias don't have to be global or large-scale societies like Oceania in 1984. It could be towns like Hildale, Utah. I think the entire arch of the series could be a federal agent who goes across the country investigating small towns with unusual governments that happen to be breaking the law or violating the constitution.

A number of examples:

A rural community where slavery is still practiced. The slaves even "volunteer" at an early age and later find themselves unable to escape.
A hippie commune that was peaceful until they started getting too many visitors.
A town where the official form of government is anarchy.
A survivalists' settlement where people believe the Y2K crisis happened to be as bad as people were predicting and think that reports to the contrary are just government propaganda.
A communist city in the United States setup by the former Soviet Union.

The hard part isn't getting ideas, though. The hard part is writing plots that keep the stories interesting. It could be very easy for every episode to be the same:
The agent shows up. The locals are hostile to him. The agent explains how he found their town and that the FBI is waiting to hear back from him. If the town doesn't cooperate, the feds will be "crawling all over this place". The rest of the episode is just the agent marveling at how weird or wrong the society is and sending people to jail.
Again, that's what I want to avoid. Of course, it would be easy to avoid just by never doing anything else with these ideas.
whatever.

Another idea--a society where everyone is apathetic as I pretend to be on my blog.

2011-07-30T14:49:00.000-05:00

Why have some of the best recent flash games been zombie games? I don't know.

The Last Stand -- Union City

This game has an incredible level of depth for a flash game. Don't get me wrong, the game play is lousy. Killing zombies is just clicking the mouse button really fast. I thought previous versions of this game actually required aiming. Either way, they've made this shooter into a nice RPG.

The Good Old Days

2011-07-02T11:55:00.000-05:00

Last week, I thought I almost had slayed my monster. I made the mistake of voicing my optimism.

I get superstitious sometimes. I feel like I shouldn't have mentioned this to anyone, because I ended up not finishing the handful of tasks when I thought I would. Superstition is a funny thing. Sometimes there is something to it based on logical cause and effect. In this case, mentioning I was wrapping up my tasks earned me an extra task that made me late on the others. whatever.

Anyway, it is now with cautious optimism, I still think I am getting closer to slaying the monster. I have one definite task I am capable of competing and hope to complete Tuesday. Even if it takes me an extra day or two, it's not so bad. There are other monsters waiting for me, but none, I believe, as large as the one I have been fighting for an entire year now.

Of course, there is the other monster--the one that was born 3 months ago. He is finally sleeping through the night which means normalcy is about to return to our home life for the first time since we found out my wife was pregnant. Again, I fear voicing my optimism will bring something worse, but this truly is superstitious.

Now that I have some time to think, this reminds me of something the source sent me recently. The part of the article was something about the new obsession with understanding happinese:

'Nowadays, it’s not enough to be happy—if you can be even happier. The American Dream and the pursuit of happiness have morphed from a quest for general contentment to the idea that you must be happy at all times and in every way. “I am happy,” writes Gretchen Rubin in The Happiness Project, a book that topped the New York Times best-seller list and that has spawned something of a national movement in happiness-seeking, “but I’m not as happy as I should be.”'

Perhaps the link between slaying my monster and being happy enough is not direct, but in my mind there is some tendency to think, "When I finish with this project, and have this much money in the bank, and drive a nice car and get my life organized, I will be happy." There are a lot of things wrong with this, but it highlights faulty expectations about happiness:

Happiness is an absence of stress
Happiness is derived from material luxuries
Happiness is derived from having complete control over one's life

Although these beliefs are wrong, the antithesis of them is correct:

It is difficult to be happy when one is overwhelmed by stress
It is difficult to be happy when you are lacking basic necessities
It is difficult to be happy when you have no freedom (slavery, imprisonment)

But if I were to look at my life slightly different than I usually do, I don't have those three problems. I have stress, but some of the stress is brought on by having too much of a good thing. I really can't complain about the stress caused by living with an infant when I see the the struggles of people who want children and deal with infertility or miscarriages. I can complain about being to busy at work, but I also have to remember it's better to have my skills and knowledge be in high demand than to be completely without work. Isn't this sometime I worked to achieve?

What it seems to come down to for someone like me--and I think I am in a pretty typical situation--is that there is no reason I can't be happy today. In fact, there is plenty of reason for me to be content.

To continue the theme, I look back on some rather unlikely times with great fondness. Last year, for example, our house flooded and we were forced to live in a house much smaller. I have nothing but good memories about that time. Most of those memories are about being together with my family and finding ways to make the best of the situation we were in.

whatever.

"I like waking up after a bad dream
Makes it feel like life ain't bad
Little kids go out to play
They're just happy it's another day
It's up to you and me
And who's to say
These could be the good old days"
--the Good Old Days by Eels

2011-05-26T08:12:00.001-05:00

Oprah's last show was yesterday.
whatever.

2011-04-30T23:48:00.000-05:00

It's been a month since my lat post. I wish I had something to write. I've had some ideas for stories, but they are all forgotten.

There is a monster that has been eating up my time and mental energy. It won't live forever, but right now it seems like it won't die. My interest in blogging had really waned. I'll have time again in a month or two, but I'm not sure I'll want to. whatever.

Thank you for being a jerk

2011-03-30T16:52:00.000-05:00

I always thought "Thank You for Being a Friend" could take on a Ben Folds Five style and become something completely different. The words would need some revamp, but all the arrangement lacks is a heavy dosage of bass fuzz.

Thank you for being a Jerk
Hit the road I want you gone
You're a fraud and a fake and I just don't want you around.

Thank you for being a Jerk
You run everyone over to get your way, no consideration for their feelings
Just what you want in the end.

And if found yourself on the edge of a cliff and called out for help
You would see people standing in a line hoping for the chance to push you off the edge

And as you fell everyone would yell,

"Thank you for being a Jerk!"
"Thank you for being a Jerk!"

And if it's a car you lack, we'd all pitch in to buy you a steamroller
To run you over, the way you did to us.

And when this job is over and we're all fired
We'll look each other in the eye
And not know what the fuss was all about
But everyone would still hate you all the same

Thank you for being a jerk.

2011-03-25T07:34:00.000-05:00

I saw a neat piece on the work being done on the Reactor in Japan.

What is going on is a little crazy. The pictures look like something from a science fiction movie, not something from real life. Of course, I bet everyone in Japan wishes it were only fiction.

Is it insensitive to say that trying to save a nuclear reactor complex would make for a good game? There was a good game for the Commodore 64, Countdown to Shutdown. In the game, it was robots trying to fix the nuclear reactor, not people. Again, I'm sure the people working the plant wish this were only a game...

Last week, my wife told me about the Fukushima Fifty. She told me that they stayed on a voluntary basis and she couldn't understand why, knowing the risk (or certainty) of radiation poisoning they would face. I can understand why--it is a sacrifice they make. If there isn't someone to work the plant, things could get much worse for the rest of the Japanese people. My wife wondered how they could do it if they had families at home. I can understand her point--it is one thing to sacrifice one's life, but it probably adds to the sacrifice to know that you will leave behind a widow or children who will grow up without a father. I would guess they have to put that out of their mind. I don't really know.

I would be curious to hear what soldiers with families who have been deployed would say along those lines. This is, after all, a fairly common sacrifice made by our own soldiers, still today.

I also wonder how I would respond if given the opportunity. There is a nagging feeling that if tested, I would turn out to be a coward. I don't know. I wouldn't want to be a coward, but mostly I'm just glad I've never had to face something like this.

2011-03-21T20:29:00.000-05:00

Prior

I've found 3 different endings to this game. I'm curious if there is a 4th...

2011-03-16T08:05:00.000-05:00

I've read a number of things on Google reader about how what is going on with the nuclear reactors in the Japan isn't as bad as you think it might be.

Here is one: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/03/14/fukushiima_analysis/

I don't know...for one thing, I don't think this is over. How about we wait to declare these reactors as safe until after they get them under control? The referenced article was written two days ago. A few things have happened since then.

Don't get me wrong--I wouldn't doubt that some people's fear exceeds the reality of the danger. I also don't know that this means we should build more nukes--things went well in Japan, but what if they had cut corners? Maybe after this whole thing is over, it will have turned out to not be such a big deal. The radiation released may be short-lived, just as the article asserts. And there is another valid point--it's not like coal mines, oil rigs, and refineries aren't dangerous. Of course, if this had been a wind-farm and not a nuclear reactor there wouldn't be anything to report, except maybe, "A cow was killed when the earthquake knocked over a windmill at the wind-farm."
whatever.

I do hope things start going better in Japan.

2011-03-05T21:07:00.001-06:00

I don't normally like zombie games, but

Rebuild

is a really nice flash strategy game.

I beat it on normal and hard difficulty levels. I can't beat it on the "harder" level.

whatever.

Spitfire 1940

2011-02-16T12:37:00.000-06:00

I don't know if it's even wroth calling it a game of the week anymore, but I really enjoyed this one:

Spitfire 1940

It's an allocation of resources strategy game, which is probably my favorite type of game. It's based on World War II (hence the title).

I liked how it used the "Intelligence" feature. Having good intelligence really made a difference in this game. It also seemed to be a failure unique feature among the games I've plaid.

It could have been better if letting your cities get bombed had a bigger impact on your campaign. I mean, London takes 50% damage in a bombing raid, but it's no big deal because you can just send a few builders out to rebuild the city in a matter of turns.

Shouldn't things like that have an effect on Morale and production? And there is a morale factor that affects your recruiting, but it seems to be purely random. Taking damage to your radar district affects intelligence, but that's the only district you really "need" to protect.

I mean, the gist of the game is to produce as many pilots and planes as possible and to figure out the best way to maximize the number of piloted planes you can deploy to areas getting attacked. If a factory gets bombed, shouldn't your production go down until it's rebuilt? If a city gets bombed, shouldn't there be some recourse so the player really wants to prevent it.

I know this isn't real life, but if even one bomb were dropped on London, that would be a pretty big deal. In the game, it's not really a big deal. I know...games aren't real life. Still, I'm not too happy about the indifference to historically ficitional tragedy I gained from playing the game.

whatever.

2011-02-15T12:32:00.001-06:00

"You look perplexed can I help you" the bartender asked me.
"Yeah, Jack Dorrie offered to promote my band."
"I've heard of him, you should take him up on the offer."
"Yeah, I know. Once he starts promoting us we'll be playing all sorts of talk shows, you'll hear our songs on commercials, we're bound to become famous. I just don't want to sell out."
"I don't think selling out is as bad as they make it out to be."
"Really? How would you know?"
"Have you heard of the band Coconut Trap?"
"Yeah, I love their stuff. They even got a song on one of those phone commercials. I was afraid they'd sold out, but then they broke up."
"Yeah, I turned down an offer from Jack Dorrie because I didn't want to sell out. Just to show me his power he put a bug in the ear of one of his buddies at an executive agency about us. That got us played on the commercial."
"Wait, so you're John---"
"Yeah, I'm the first and only artist to ever turn down an offer from Jack Dorrie".
"So why are to bar tending?"
"Well, if we'd gotten royalties from the ad, we might have, but our record contract left us out in the cold. It turned out if Jack Dorrie had represented us, we could have leveraged our momentum and bargained for a more lucrative record deal. But I turned him down.
"I tried to call him back, to tell him I changed my mind. The rest of the band was pretty pissed at me for turning him down. He turned me down--said he found someone else to represent."
"You're kidding!"
"No, have you heard of Alexandria Rain? Of course you have. He picked her up when I turned him down."
"So you could have been as big as Alexandria Rain? Why'd you break up?"
"We tried to find another publicist, but the guy we hired was just a hack. He got us some small stuff, but nothing that impressed the record company. In the end, the band broke up because they could never forgive me for what I did.
"If I could do it over again, I'd hire Jack. But how I was supposed to know? When Jack approached me, he was nobody. Of course he's a legend in the business now. Do you know why he's so good at what he does?
"No, I figured he was just a great salesman or something along those lines."
"Wrong. The man has no special talent. He has good taste--that's kind of rare in certain circles. He tries really hard to find really good music, but that's no different than the dime a dozen talent scouts that litter this city. He has friends in high places. Some of his buddies are advertising executives, and some of them work in television, but all of them are influential. Turns out the guy used to barely get by. His friends would always be asking him for help finding music. They always liked his taste. Jack kind of wandered aimlessly in his 20's and 30's. 10 years ago, one of his buddies told him they were always using his recommendations in commercials and told him to start selling these recommendations. That was when he contacted me."

"Wow. That really puts things in perspective, in fact you've changed my mind." I put some cash on the bar to cover my tab, walked outside and made a phone call.

"Hey, yeah, listen. I think the band should really hire Jack to represent you.
"Yeah, I think it's the right thing for you to do.
"I'm saying 'you', because I'm leaving the band.
"I'm not crazy, and you'll get over it. Listen, I think you should get the guy from Coconut Trap to replace me.
"Yeah he's still around, he's tending the bar at the Blue Cow Pub.
"I don't know for sure if he'll go for it, but I'm betting he'd jump at the chance.
"Sure, I'll sleep on it, but I'm not going to change my mind.
"It's the right thing to do...for everyone. Later."

I walked away from the bar, thinking, "no regrets...right?"
no regrets.

2011-02-14T09:43:00.000-06:00

I think delayed gratification is a funny thing.

Overall, it's a good thing. It is often difficult to practice the patience or discipline required to execute it.

The funny part is that sometimes it works against you. I imagine it like this--you buy an ice cream cone. It's in your hand ready to eat but then you decide to practice "delayed gratification". You decide to wait until later to eat the ice cream cone. It's really hard, but you wait an hour. And by then it's melted and rendered inedible.

OK, so that's a contrived example of something that no one would ever do. Still, are there times when we think we are practicing delayed gratification, but really just missing out on an opportunity for happiness? Yes, I would agree with you, I think they are far less common than the opportunities we miss to delay small amounts of instant gratification for much greater gratification in the future.

whatever.

2011-02-08T15:09:00.000-06:00

What if people wrote songs about their own children with the same sarcasm they do about screwed up relationships and/or dysfunctional social structures? I know you're not entirely with me. Let's take Popular, by Nada Surf, but make it about a toddler, not a high school student:

"I've got my own trike
I'm popular
I'm head of the line
I'm popular
I'm one of a kind
I'm popular
My mom says I'm a genuis
I'm popular
I don't pee in my pants
I have a collection of ants

Being assertive is the most important thing there is
If you wanna be the biggest fish in your pond
You have to be as assertive as possible
Make sure to exert your authority
Have a meltdown at least every two weeks
Once every two weeks
And if you see someone in the hall with a toy you want
Take it away from him
And cast it aside like it's not worth playing with"

I don't know...maybe it'd make more sense to write these songs about the parents of toddlers.
It's like high school all over again with some people, only it's not about looking the best or having the best car (actually, it still is), but it's (also) about having the smartest kid.
And it's weird. When I was a kid, if you were smart you were a nerd. Now, if your kid's smart (by which I mean you can convince other parents your kid is smart), then you're cool.

whatever.

Rubbernecker

2011-02-03T10:17:00.000-06:00

Your car slid of the road and into an icy lake. The TV stations sent their camera crews to film the rescue attempt.

I wonder if you care that your peril has become the entertainment for rubberneckers across the state.

It reminds me of something I saw on the history channel. The rescue attempt of a plane that crashed into an icy river. They had footage of a person who didn't make it. You could see the person's head for minutes, and then you saw it no more.

What's it like to die on camera? What ran through your head before the cold water sucked the last bit of life out of you? Did your life flash before your eyes? Did it hurt like Hell or were you numb? Were you even conscious?

I don't know. If I were in that situation, I probably wouldn't care about rubberneckers. From the comfort of my own home, it kind of makes me sick. Rubbernecking isn't news.

whatever.

2011-01-26T16:16:00.000-06:00

Someone made fun of me today for having a blog. Actually he made fun of blogs and I told him I had one. "What, you don't actually write in it do you?".

Yeah, I kind of do. Or at least when I had time, I did.

I think he was thinking of blogging as being like twitter, where you write about the boring things you do all day.

My blog isn't like that. My blog is more like the ramblings of a adolescent girl just trying to "figure out life" and find her way in the world.

I hope it isn't like that, either.

whatever. Thinking about what my blog is like is boring.

Song about myself

2011-01-15T18:35:00.001-06:00

I've had my time to hate
And I've held this grudge long enough to let it go
And I've learned enough to know what will happen if I don't.

I'm so narcissistic
That even when it's all about you
It's still all about me
Yeah, I know
I know I know
I'm so vain,
I probably think this song is about me.

Why do I obsess about what I can't change
When all I need to do is move on?
Why do I obsess about my obsession?
Like that ever helped me stop...

Why do I think anyone cares about me not letting go?
And why is every line in this song about me?

I'd tell you what's going on if I didn't already know
That you'd tell me just to let it go.

Oh, don't I ever think of anyone besides myself?
Do you think selfless people ever wonder if they're narcissistic?

Yeah, I don't think so either, and I know you don't care.
I guess I'll just go on thinking...
Thinking about thinking...
about thinking about thinking about myself.

2011-01-06T09:49:00.000-06:00

Does familiarity breed contempt? Sure, but sometimes it is useful for other things.

Right now, I'm enjoying the song Two Weeks by Grizzly Bear. It's a good song, and it's catchy, but I can't help but wondering how much my enjoyment was helped along by a VW commercial using the song.

And along the same lines, I'm also enjoying the Beach House songs Take Care and Zebra, and I can't help but thinking they've been used in a commercial. Maybe not. Maybe they're just catchy and I've listened to them enough to think I've heard it somewhere else, when I haven't.

whatever.

2011-01-05T11:38:00.000-06:00

I saw something, I think it was shared by Josh, that said people procrastinate because they're scared of starting. Once they're in the middle of doing work, it's not so painful. At least, it's not as painful as they expect it to be when they are procrastinating.

Starting is hard. Starting is scary. Even starting the next phase of work I'm already doing gives me cause to ~~pause~~ procrastinate.

What is it that is so scary about starting? I think sometimes there is some fear of the unknown--I don't know how I am going to do this.

whatever.

2010-12-28T20:58:00.001-06:00

Westboro Baptist Church says it will picket Elizabeth Edwards' funeral
because the media will be there.

You know what's weird. Westboro Baptist Church does outrageous things to get attention from the media and the media give them attention because they do outrageous things.

They're like the Dennis Rodman of Christianity.

How do you break the cycle? It's hard to stop paying attention. It's possible, I guess. What's more likely is that they won't seem so outrageous after awhile and something more outrageous will come along.

2010-12-26T15:46:00.000-06:00

You gotta love Christmas Break. Why? Because the Handrew got two books about writing games in Java and has several days off.

One of the books even addresses some of the performance issues I noticed in Coffee Pong.

So what are you saying Handrew, you might finish Coffee Pong?

Don't get your hopes up. I may decide I'd rather take some naps, but there is a good chance I can improve what I have on Coffee Pong. I think I may need to reinstall the Java compiler on my computer. I thought I had a post about that somewhere...

Also, the likelihood of me figuring out how to make Coffee Pong fun is negligible. The types of books that help people develop fun games are completely different than the ones I received for Christmas. First, I need to figure out how to write these games.

whatever. I know there are exactly two people in the world interested in this and at least 60 people who would rather I not spend my free time on this.

2010-12-14T13:42:00.000-06:00

Another Playlist from the weird mood I was in when I put it together.

Enjoy.

2010-12-12T14:26:00.000-06:00

I see bad things all over the place, but I'm going to ignore them, because that's what I'm supposed to do.

You want me to report them or open these things up for discussion? I don't think you really do. You just want me to sweep them under the rug and let you continue to pretend they'll go away on their own.

They won't, of course. This is all going to end very badly, but that would not be as bad as what you would bring upon us all if I were to speak up and bring these things to your attention.

People who shoot messengers deserve what they get. whatever.

2010-12-10T14:04:00.000-06:00

I was thinking about something I heard a few different times. "If you know a programming language or two you can pick up just about any language pretty quickly." The implication was that you didn't have to go and learn very many languages to be a valuable programmer.

I don't know. I learned to program in BASIC on a Commodore 64. BASIC on a 80's era toy computer is pretty lame compared to the languages in use today. I mean, the lamest thing was lack of a real editor. You had to assign line numbers to each line in the program--by hand. I know!

whatever. I've learned a number of languages. Maybe I can pick up a programming language quicker because I've learned so many. What I know about Fortran and Python I learned from troubleshooting existing code. I'm sure my knowledge of C helped me in both cases, but some languages are not easy to learn for a programmer with experience in only one or two languages. A few examples:
1. C is just hard. You can pick up the basics easily, but it seems to have a greater ability to produce confusion than any other language I've seen.
2. Object oriented programming (done correctly) requires a change in thinking for people like me who are used to procedural languages.
3. Knowing a procedural language will probably set you back if you are trying to program a PCL with ladder logic.
4. Database programming is really weird for someone like me.

I don't know, but hearing statements that imply, "all programming languages are the same," tends to make me think the speaker has not done enough programming to be really useful. He or she may also be unaware of the reasons for choosing one over the other.

whatever.

2010-12-08T09:06:00.001-06:00

I loved the game Master of Orion. I haven't played it in awhile. I usually go through a phase every year or two where I get back into playing it. If you're not familiar with it, it's the greatest galactic strategy game--ever.

This is stupid, but when I play the game on a laptop, it almost takes it to another level. Perhaps it is because of the black laptop Captain Picard had on his desk in his ready room, but I like to think it's how the leader of a galactic empire would go about giving orders to his empire.

Lame. I know. Buried somewhere in my mind is a 12 year old playing pretend space empire who needs to grow up.

I got me thinking about an idea for a game--a business simulator that has the look and feel of ERP software like SAP. The interface would be easy. The game would abstain from graphics any more sophisticated than this.

Maybe the idea of turning SAP into a game isn't unique. I know Thomas did a competition involving SAP in graduate school. I've heard of business simulators from friends in college taking business or MIS classes. I think the only difference between my idea and the others would accessibility. It shouldn't be any harder to get into and play than Hedgehog Launch, for example.

If the game could scale up to something like Master of Orion, easy to learn, hard to master and still fun to play after hundreds of hours lost to playing the game, you might have a situation similar to me pretending to be a galactic emperor. You could pour yourself a glass of single malt Scotch, sit down at your desk at home, open up the laptop and play my game. You'd be a regular Jack Donaghy, managing your corporate empire of television programming and microwave ovens.

whatever.

Right now I have real software to write...

2010-12-01T13:36:00.000-06:00

Televangelist says he cheated on wife

I'm tempted to make this a crap headline. I won't, but honestly, I believe that most Televangelists cheat on their wives. And isn't the Televangelist having an affair story kind of old? Isn't the modern fashion for them to have affairs with other men?

Maybe I'm too cynical. These religious leaders are just people, after all--people leading other people astray.

2010-11-26T23:33:00.000-06:00

Into Space

It's another launch game. Considering how similar these games are, you'd think it'd be like, "If you've played one, you've played them all," but each one is different enough to be fun and addicting.

The game doesn't need much explaining--launch the rocket, get pick-ups in flight to help you get higher and or get more money. When you crash, spend your money to upgrade your ship. Repeat until you get to the moon.

Of course, the physics modeling is completely unrealistic. I'll run through what I can think of:
1. There is no such thing as rocket gates that magically propel rockets upwards.
2. There is not rocket fuel floating around in the atmosphere you can use to help you attain higher altitudes. The same goes for the repair kits and bundles of cash.
3. In the game, the pull of gravity does not seem to get weaker as the rocket reaches higher altitudes. I realize the force of gravity doesn't weaken that much for the altitudes in the game (less than 300,000 ft). Still...
4. The force of air resistance does not seem to get weaker as the rocket reaches higher altitudes. This should have a larger effect.
5. You do not reach the moon by going 300,000 feet in the sky. For starters, the moon is more like 384,000 kilometers away from the Earth. Second, you don't magically arrive at the moon just by going 384,000 km away. You actually have to aim for it.
6. I'm pretty sure the space above the Earth is not crowded with hundreds of flying saucers and Sputniks.

Some of the other unrealistic aspect aren't necessarily violations of the laws of physics, but should still be noted.
1. You can't upgrade to multi-stage rockets. Even Estes (the toy rocket company) let's you launch multi-stage rockets.
2. You cannot build a rocket that gets to the moon for a grand total of about $100,000. If you could, I'd probably take out a loan so I could go there.
3. So you have to buy upgrades in the game, but when you crash your rocket, it gets repaired for free? And you don't have to buy rocket fuel? What's up with that?

I'm sure there's more, but that's what I can think of. Don't get me wrong--the game is fun as it is. In most of these cases, making the game more realistic would only complicate it or make it boring. Remember, the most realistic thing you can do is real life, and some times it isn't any fun at all. For someone like me, the real version of "Into Space" involves sitting on the couch wishing I could go into space. whatever.

Play the game, it's addicting and fun and closer than you'll ever get to going to the moon in real life.

2010-11-16T21:22:00.000-06:00

Empire Island

This game is a lot of fun, but it's really challenging. It's a nice strategy game. It has some elements of tower defense games to it, but includes the element of keeping a city together, with a population and an economy.

My frustrations with the game are that it requires coordinated use of the mouse, which makes it harder to play on the laptop, and that you only get 60 seconds between waves. It's still fun.

2010-11-16T11:58:00.000-06:00

I started reading a book on how to be a good father yesterday and it made the point that 60 years ago, it was common for young men to apprentice with their fathers--as opposed to the current system we have where we learn everything from schools and go to work for strangers at a corporation. The point he was driving at is that, in the current system, our children, when they are growing up, spend more time with people who aren't family members then they do with their parents. As a result, parents have a lot less influence over their children then parents did 60 some years ago.

It made me think about something else, though--our culture hasn't only done away with the family apprenticeship (for the most part), we even treat it with hostility and label it as nepotism. I don't know if that's good or bad. My wife has an family member who took over the farm from his father. That is quite a bit like an apprenticeship. He's a good farmer. Is this a case of nepotism? In the strictest sense, probably. I think the family farm is a good thing, though. But the family farm is becoming a thing of the past. Probably not for the better.
Sometimes, you see family businesses where the father hands control over to his son and it doesn't work out. A lot of the recent examples that come to my mind involve religious institutions. Oral Roberts University developed quite a few problems under the leadership of Richard Roberts. The Crystal Cathedral recently filed for bankruptcy after floundering under the leadership of the founder's son, Robert A Schuller. These seem to be genuine cases of nepotism in organizations where more qualified people would have been available to fill the desirable positions that became vacant.

I think is a shame that apprenticeships are disappearing. Are there not occupations that are better served by apprenticeships than college education? Of course, apprenticing a non-family member is probably expensive. In the case of my wife's relative, he got the "apprenticeship" working on the farm, not because his father favored him over a stranger, but because he was free labor. He took over the farm later on probably through some combination of working for ownership, gifts of ownership from his parents and inheritance. Is that nepotism? If so I guess all inheritances and gifts are a form of nepotism? "How come you gave you son a bike for Christmas and not all the other kids in the world?".

Part of me wishes my sons could apprentice with me. I don't know if engineering is a discipline well served by that. It certainly needs formal education, but there is a lot that can only be learned from experience. I don't know. They might not want to learn from me, if they're like most sons. I know I never listened to my dad...

whatever.

2010-11-15T16:15:00.002-06:00

If you're looking for great way to celebrate Thanksgiving with some patriotic flair this year, then I suggest you serve Turkeagle at your Thanksgiving dinner this year.

I know you're wondering, what's Turkeagle? Is that like a Tofu Turkey?

No, the Turkeagle combines two of this Nation's Symbols in one main course--it's a turkey stuffed with a bald eagle. I can think of nothing more patriotic than eating the animal Benjamin Franklin wanted to be our national symbol in the same bite as the animal that is our official national symbol.

Disclaimer: Killing (and/or eating) Bald Eagles is a bad idea. It's probably a felony. In all seriousness, thehandrew does not endorse killing endangered species or committing crimes.

2010-11-08T21:32:00.000-06:00

I put the Radiohead album The Bends in my card CD player Friday and I haven't been able to take it out or switch over to the radio (except when my wife is in the car, because she doesn't like hard music).

I'm not sure if I'm enjoying listening to it that much or I'm just to lazy to take it out. I think it may be some sort of combination. I should probably find another CD to put in there before I never want to hear that CD again. whatever.

I also remember getting new CDs about 10 years ago. I would play them almost non-stop and then get sick of them. I don't do that nearly as much now as I used to, but I don't know if it's because I have restraint and purposely don't overplay music I like or because I haven't found much music I have been able to enjoy in excess. I'm pretty sure it has to do with me getting older and not the music I'm finding--the question is, though, is it because I'm more mature now or because I'm more boring now.

I think we all know the truth. I have, by some great miracle, been able to become even more boring than I was a decade ago.

And yes, Thomas, I know you're going to say it, I do think The Bends sound kind of Radioheady.

2010-11-06T18:59:00.000-05:00

I apologize for my prolonged absence from the blog. I hate blogging about blogging and complaining about being busy, but sometimes there's justification.

I know it's no excuse, but my job has been sucking up much of my time and all of my intellectual energy the past week and a half. It's not a bad place to be, in actuality. It sure beats the alternative...

I hope to return later tonight with a real post. Also, despite my lack of time and spare mental capacity, I do have a start at a short story tumbling around in my mind. The hope is to get it written and polished up by Christmas, but we'll see how that goes.

Anyway, I have to go, my wife and sons are begging me to put down the computer.

2010-10-22T17:41:00.000-05:00

I wonder how many people know what they're getting into when they pick out a major in college. Could this be why some people have trouble picking a major (or rather, did these "indecisive" people know something I didn't in college)? I didn't have that much trouble. On the other hand, I could have easily ended up majoring in mathematics, which might have been a mistake. whatever.

2010-10-20T10:28:00.000-05:00

I know most of what I will say about this is obvious, but this latest thing about Clarence Thomas's wife, Virginia Thomas, calling Anita Hill to ask for an apology is bizarre in the extreme. Who does this? Intoxicated people, I guess. Her explaination is a little odd too, "I did place a call to Ms. Hill at her office extending an olive branch to her after all these years, in hopes that we could ultimately get past what happened so long ago."

Is that really how one goes about extending an olive branch?

I know I'm super cynical here, but anytime something ends up in the news, you have to consider the possibility that the person who "created" the story did it only for publicity. Sure, it's possible Virginia Thomas just has poor social skills and doesn't know when to leave well enough alone. I'm thinking it's more likely she's about to publish a book.

Who knows, if we're going to go down the path of creating conspiracy theories, why not assume that Anita Hill is on on the whole thing? Maybe Virginia Thomas and Anita Hill are planning to write a book together after Anita Hill makes a public apology to Virginia Thomas on Oprah's show.

Yeah, that seems like a bit of a stretch, and assumes that Anita Hill was lying when she testified against Clarence Thomas. It could go the other way, though. Maybe Clarence Thomas apologizes to Anita Hill on Oprah? Still a stretch--I don't think Clarence Thomas needs publicity.

I guess we'll see, if you forget that this ever happened then it's more likely Virginia Thomas was intoxicated, has horrible social skills, or just had a really big brain fart.

Until then, I choose to be cynical.

2010-10-20T09:58:00.000-05:00

I heard about Robert H. Schuller yesterday on NPR because the Crystal Cathedral is bankrupt. I wondered if perhaps some of the Word of Faith churches derived some of their theology from from Schuller's positive thinking. Some of the Word of Faith concepts certainly sound like positive thinking
Even the wikipedia article on Word of Faith references this:

'Within the Word of Faith teaching, a central element of receiving from God involves "confession". This doctrine is often referred to as "positive confession" or "faith confession" by practitioners, and "name it and claim it" or "blab it and grab it" by detractors. The teaching should not be confused with Norman Vincent Peale's concept of positive thinking.'
'Likewise, according to Word of Faith teaching, "negative confession" can yield negative results, and hence believers should be conscious of their words.'

A big difference, at least on the surface, seems to be that the Word of Faith focuses much more on the text of the Bible and Jesus. Of course critics would probably point out that they seem to pick and chose which scriptures they choose to focus on, but that's a discussion for another time.

I think it's a bit of a dead end, though, if you're looking for a connection between Word of Faith and positive thinking. It really seems they've emerged independently. If there is a link, it may only be that Robert H. Schuller's popularity rose during the period of time that the Word of Faith movement gained popularity.

2010-10-20T08:30:00.000-05:00

"You are unique...just like everyone else."

Likewise, today is special...just like every other day. Today is 10-20-2010. It's like a word-by-word palindrome phrase when you say it.
ten
twenty
twenty
ten

This incredibly rare event won't happen again for another 13 months!

Let's all freak out about how special today is!

2010-10-19T22:21:00.000-05:00

Is it sad that I know more about the Senate race in Delaware than the elections I can vote for in my own state?

I don't know. I do know that there might be a little bit more to the latest Christine O'Donnell thing about separation of church and state than just her remarks.

Some churches don't believe in separation of church and state. They don't want the government to interfere in their business, but they do want to be able to influence decisions the government makes. I went to school at one of these churches. Some of the things Christine O'Donnell said are things we were taught in school.
The three big ones are:
"The term 'Separation of Church and State' doesn't appear in the Constitution."
"Separation of Church and State is in the Soviet Constitution, not the American Constitution."
"Thomas Jefferson talked about Separation of Church and State, outside of the Constitution, but it was to keep the State out of the Church and not the Church out of the State."
There is some truth to each one of those statements, not to say the point they are trying to make is true, though. Actually, this site did a pretty good job addressing those and even offering up some I hadn't heard of. It's worth a read.

I'm not proud for linking to a page on a Atheism site. I also don't want to suggest that our leaders shouldn't be influenced by Christianity. In fact, I think that if there is something our leaders need more of, it would be Christian values and character. And not just talking about theses values, but actually living them out.
A number of values I think Washington needs more of, in no particular order:
Honesty
Faithfulness
Accountability
Compassion for the poor/disadvantaged
Justice
Humility
Dependability

whatever. Whenever you hear about Christine O'Donnell in the future, just remember that it's just one Senate seat from Delaware. If you don't live in Delaware then whatever happens with her is only for your entertainment. Yeah, it's kind of weird that she talked about dabbling in witchcraft the way normal people would talk about dabbling in collecting beanie babies. Yeah, she did poorly in a debate. whatever.

And I'm not saying that the overall outcome of the election isn't important either. I just still think it's sad that I know more about this race, or the Illinois Governor's race than my own Governor's race. I guess that's enough writing--I better start researching candidates...

2010-10-17T19:33:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking of entering a writing contest in January.

It's not as if I have time to write a short story good enough to enter in a contest, but it's something I've been wanting to do for awhile.

I thought if I put it on my blog, it would end up getting done. We'll see.

whatever.

2010-10-17T19:14:00.000-05:00

I thought I had already learned that refusing a compliment was a bad idea. whatever.

Yesterday, I learned that justifying why a compliment is undeserved can insult the taste or judgement of the person paying the compliment.

We're taught to be modest and I have a special sort of loathing for people who think too highly of themselves, but there is no point in being overmodest. Nit someone pays you a compliment, say, "Thank you."

2010-10-15T08:04:00.000-05:00

I've gotten mixed feedback on my fiction, so I'm sorry for posting two in a row. I'm not fishing for compliments here--a lack of self-confidence has never stopped me from writing on the blog. I just had two ideas floating in my head for awhile and finally found the time to flesh them out.

The first idea was triggered by a question a philosophy professor asked. I think I've blogged about this before. whatever. It repeated in my mind so I'll repeat myself on the blog. The question: "If scientist invented a pill you could take so you wouldn't have to sleep, would any of you not take it? There would be no side effects from taking the pill. Taking the pill would perfectly substitute for 8 hours of sleep." One of the students objected on the grounds that there are always side effects--it's just not natural. The professor reinforced that this was a hypothetical situation--there were absolutely no side effects.

I was the only other person who spoke up, "I wouldn't. I enjoy sleeping." He responded with something like, "Think of all you could get done." I told him it was nice to just be able to get away from absolutely everything. He told me my life must be pretty sad that I want to escape from it. whatever.

I can't say that I've changed my mind on the point. I did wonder how things would play out if such a pill were invented. I could imagine a lot of people I know embracing it, just like they embraced smart phones. In the hypothetical situation, people became more productive. I wonder if most people wouldn't just act like they were in college again. In the story, the narrator appears to be the last person on earth not taking Dozers. That wouldn't be accurate, either. Even if money weren't an obstacle, I could still see a significant portion of our society unwilling to go without sleep, even if it's because their lives are "pretty sad" like mine or because they wouldn't believe the scientists saying, "there are no side effects." Yeah, whatever. One last note--the name Dozers did come from the product No Doz. Real original, I know. whatever.

The second idea I had was that maybe the fall of civilization is upon us and it is cause by the deterioration of the English language. More specifically, there are a lot of "normal" words that have alternate meanings in slang. At what point will we be unable to have a normal conversation without making reference to some sexual act or bodily function, even if unintentional? Actually, at what point will it be unavoidable? I don't know. Maybe nothing would happen. Maybe people would just choose the most appropriate definition, slang or otherwise, based on context. It's not like we don't already do that.

Still, it doesn't seem like too much of a stretch that a loss of the integrity of our language would produce some detrimental effect on our society. Perhaps that, itself, is a tired old theme. whatever.

2010-10-14T16:29:00.000-05:00

There was a knock at the door. "Go away!" I hollered. The knocking persisted, so I threw on a shirt and answered the door. It was Tony and Tina. I checked my watch and scolded them. "Dude, it's 2:30 in the morning. What's up?"
They looked concerned. "John, you've been sleeping, haven't you?"
"Of course I have--you know I don't take Dozers."
"John, Tony and I are concerned. We know you're not a totaler. We're worried you might be turning into a hermit."
Just what I needed, a midnight intervention. In the course of the past five years, Dozers came along-- a pill that eliminated the mind and body's need to sleep. Despite the concerns to the contrary, numerous scientific studies proved the pills caused no side effects. My friends and family embraced them. I did not change. They took up new hobbies, expanded their social lives and worked longer hours. I resumed life as normal, falling behind socially and at work. People thought, at first, that I had some religious objection to Dozers. "I'm no totaler, I told them. This caused confusion. I was treated like a junkie. Pitied, by some, but scorned by most. I started working longer hours, just to keep up with the others, but this left less time for the social activities that were becoming more and more important in the office.
I saw Tony texting something on his phone. I really hoped they were alone.
"Listen, if you two just came by to say hi, then I'm going to go back to sleep."
"No, John, this is important," Tony pushed against the door to keep me from closing it. Though the doorway I saw another group of people come up to my door. I cursed under my breath.
In addition to Tony and Tina, every other person from the office was now at my place. Even my sister and my parents came.
"John, you might want to sit down," my father motioned toward the sofa. I sat.
"You probably know what this is about. We're all here because we're concerned for you. You stopped coming by a few years ago. Tony says you don't go to social outings after work anymore. The bicycle club called me yesterday because they were worried you were dead. You're not your normal self."
"Yeah, I know I just don't have time or energy anymore."
"Why aren't you taking Dozers?" My mother asked. "If it's the money, we can bring you some..."
"Mom, I have plenty of money, I just prefer to sleep."
"We miss you, John. We wish you'd come back to us," Tina pleaded.
"I never left, I just don't have time or energy to keep up with the rest of you. It's all I can do just to keep on top of my assignments at work."
My boss chimed in, "I don't mean to be blunt, but you haven't exactly been 'on top' of your assignments. Your productivity has been suffering horribly. In fact, if something doesn't change, we're going to have to let you go. We're willing to work with you and cut you some slack, but you've got to show us a sign that you're heading down the right path."
"I'm not going to start taking Dozers, if that's what you mean."
"And why not, can't you see that you need them? You've always been so hard head..."My sister was interrupted by Tony, "stop--remember to keep this positive. He needs support."
"Listen, Everyone!" I stood up. "I'm going to say this one thing and then you're all going to leave my place. I didn't change. You all were the one's who changed. You all were the one who started working longer hours, socializing more. You all suddenly got an unnatural boost in energy, while I got left behind, but keep in mind--I am the one person in this room who hasn't changed. You scheduled this 'intervention', like I am some drug addict, but the truth is I am normal. And I know what you're thinking--'Why can't you just go with the Flow, John?'. You know why? I enjoy sleeping. I enjoy having 8 hours every day when I don't have to worry about what I'm going to be doing or who I'm going to spend my time with. You say you can't afford to continue keeping me employed? Fine, I quit. I'm not going to to change."
Everyone stared at me. I don't know if they were shocked or just unsure what words they had to say next to convince me I was wrong. I raised my voice.
"I'm serious, get out of my house before I get violent!"
They started making their way towards the door. I stared each person down on his way out the door, making a mental note that this person was now dead to me. Except my mom. I couldn't bring myself to stare her down.
Tony was the last person out the door. "John, think about...". I slammed the door in his face before he could get the last words out.
I tried going to bed. Getting to sleep while angry doesn't work out all that well. At least I didn't have to worry about getting up for work in the morning.
For the next couple months, I made the money I had last as long as I could while I looked for a job. I found one "part time" job restocking a store. Part time these days was 40 hours per week. Normal jobs wouldn't interview for someone who didn't take Dozers--or at least wasn't willing to. Most companies now provided Dozers for their employees. I didn't care. The money ran out. A few months later, I was thrown out on the street. I checked with a couple of shelters. They all turned me away--they said they wouldn't help someone who wouldn't help himself. I found a place on the sidewalk and sat down.
"If you're going to stay here, you'll need to scoot down a couple feet," a homeless man motioned toward the area I could go.
I moved down and asked him, "Do you mind if I sleep there?"
The man laughed, "That a joke? 'S not a safe place to sleep."
"Where is a safe place to sleep?"
"Nowheres. Why, you outa Dozers or sometin?"
"No, I don't take them."
The man burst out laughing.
"What?"
"What you mean, 'what?' You tryin' to become a priest or sometin?"
"No, I just like to sleep."
"Whatever, man. Guess 'll be ok if you sleep there tonight. Just don't blame me if sometin happens to ya."
"I'll be all right. Thanks."
The homeless man then held up a sign and resumed panhandling. I looked over at his sign, it read, "Any Dozers you can spare? God bless."

Logs from System Admin in the future

2010-10-13T21:44:00.000-05:00

14Nov2015
I found out a popular online dictionary and a popular online slang dictionary both use our web hosting service.

18Nov2015
I managed to get access to the servers for both the slang dictionary and the ordinary dictionary. Finding their MySQL databases was relatively simple.

20Nov2015
Wrote some scripts to analyze the entries of the slang dictionary. 55% are sexual. 30% involve bodily functions other than sex. 42% involve drug use. Only 5% are completely innocuous. Also, my script was unable to categorize 7% of the entries in the slang dictionary. I realize that 55+30+42+5+7 is greater than 100. Many of the entries fell into more than one category. It's best not to think about the implications of this for too long.

03Dec2015
Wrote another script to check how many of the entries in the ordinary dictionary also had entries in the slang dictionary. 55.7%.

13Jan2016
I set the analysis scripts to run once a week. The number of uncategorizable entries in the slang dictionary has grown to 12%. I am slightly disturbed by this trend.

15Jan2016
Many of the "uncategorized" slang entries seem to have "religious" implications. I don't know if that's quite the right term. They seem to be "curse" words in the strictest sense of the word.

28Jan2016
Yesterday, the president used a term in his State of the Union address that had a particularly derogatory meaning in slang, though it was a completely acceptable word until a few years ago. I downloaded a transcript of the speech and checked it against the slang dictionary database. 20% of the words he used actually fall into that category. He only got into trouble for that one word because it is a widely recognized derogatory slang term.

20Jun2016
My analysis script matched 75% of the entries in the ordinary dictionary with entries in the slang dictionary. I wonder how many of these are actually dirty slang words and wonder how many of these slang words are actually used.

25Jun2016
Reran the analysis script to match up ordinary words only with "dirty" slang words. 72% of the entries in the dictionary match up dirty entries in the slang dictionary.

12July2016
Refined analysis script to only count matches to "dirty" slang words with 50 or more "thumbs up" votes. 65% of the entries in the dictionary match up with well recognized "dirty" slang words.

01Sep2016
It seems it didn't take long for my scheduled analysis results to get back up to 75%. 75% of the entries in the dictionary are now well-recognized dirty words.

01Oct2016
I can't bring myself to look at the dictionary analysis more than once a month. 82%.

01Jan2017
I've been checking every month, but thought I'd at least log how bad things are at the start of the year. 97%.

28May2017
The Secretary-General of the UN gave the commencement address at Yale yesterday. Rather he tried. Every word he used was a dirty word. This was not his fault. He's from Libya. English isn't his first language. Still, he was laughed off the stage. This is an embarrassing moment if English is your first language.

06Jun2017
The stock market crashed. I'm not quite sure if it's because English speaking people can't communicate without insulting each other any more or if it's because foreign nations won't trade with people who speak English.

10Jun2017
My local supermarket will no longer do business in English. It has become too dirty of a language to be used in public.

12Jun2017
There were riots at supermarkets across the country as people who only know one language demanded to be dealt with in English. The riots became deadly, because as the Police tried to talk the rioters into peaceably dispersing, they inadvertently used one of the worst insults in English slang. I can't help but think that 2 years ago, no one would have gotten killed over the sentence, "Please go home, there is no need for violence."

13Jun2017
I dumped the contents of the dictionary onto a hard-drive, put it in a waterproof safe and buried it in my backyard with a paper dictionary I found in my attic. I think civilization has completely fallen apart for the English-speaking world, but I hold out hope that some day in the future, someone will be interested in the uncorrupted version of the language. I'm sure neither the hard-drive nor the dictionary will be readable when that day comes. Still, it's worth a shot, if only for my own peace of mind.

2010-10-12T08:39:00.000-05:00

I have heard tale of people celebrating that October has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. I fail to see the significance of this trivia. I like weekends as much as anyone else, but the weekend still comes every 7 days. It's been that way for a long time.

Also, NPR pointed out this morning that the last time this rare event occurred was January. This last January. January 2010.

So again, what's the big deal? Is the news going that slowly? Perhaps you didn't hear that Google has been letting computers drive its fleet of Priuses around. That's a pretty big deal. I'm a little bit jealous that I didn't work on the team a Google that engineered this. Not much, mind you, just a tad, and mostly I'm pretty excited that someone has gotten this to work.

I've wondered if there's going to come a day when humans aren't allowed to drive. I think there'd be some good and some bad if that happened. I'd miss driving, to be sure. whatever.

2010-10-11T15:38:00.001-05:00

Yes, another playlist of random music that Thomas is sure to think sounds at least a little Radioheady.

If the playlist widget doesn't show up, you can play the list here.
I also recommend a list I put together about a year ago. whatever.

2010-10-08T13:12:00.000-05:00

There's something I don't understand--two-tone hair styles for women. This may be a trend, but I have seen a few horrible attempts. I'm not talking about highlights, I'm talking about separate zones of color. One of the worst is a gray/black style. It makes a woman's head look like a skunk. I couldn't find a good picture of one, but this one comes close. The other attempt that does not achieve its intended effect, in my opinion, is the dark hair color for the top layer of hair and another color for the bottom layer. I wish I had a picture of this, but it makes a woman look like she is wearing a wig that is falling off.

Maybe I'm just not up to speed with the latest in hair fashion. whatever.

2010-10-08T11:02:00.000-05:00

It seems Ole Miss is picking a new mascot. I'm a little confused, but something I heard on NPR seemed to suggest that "Rebels" was too controversial. Colonel Reb was taken away--because of his connection to the Civil War. The weird think in they are retaining the team name "the Rebels", but are just picking a new mascot--a cheerleader, a bear or a shark. The weird thing the name of the mascot is going to start with Rebel. It's not just going to be a bear it's going to be Rebel Bear. I can understand that Ole Miss has a lot of tradition and doesn't want to give up on stuff like this two easily.

I have a few thoughts on this:
This is way too much like the South Park episode about the South Park flag. I don't know if this is life imitating parody or just history repeating itself.
It isn't clear how Ole Miss is going to dodge the Civil War controversy without actually trying to associate the term Rebel with something that used the word Rebel and doesn't involve the Civil War at all. The Admiral Ackbar idea was grand. Too bad it's no longer an option. You could also go with a David Bowie theme (Rebel, Rebel). For some reason I see the Rebel Bowies going over better at UC Berkeley than in Mississippi.

They could have chosen the Rebel Sabers. The actual mascot could be a Jedi with a green lightsaber. I'm sure George Lucas would be happy to help Ole Miss with licensing issues. It would also serve as a burried reference to Robert E. Lee. When I picture him in my mind, he is always carrying a sword.

I think people need to realize that the Civil War wasn't about slavery. It was about states' rights. More specifically, it was about whether or not the United States could enforce the part of the constitution that guaranteed liberty or whether certain states had the right to set up laws that took liberty away from people and allowed certain human beings to be treated no differently than horses or cattle. So realize that this is a complicated issue. Just because someone flies a confederate flag, it doesn't mean they're a racist. Not to say they're not--it's just that they could also believe the South should have won the Civil War, or that they hate people from North of the Mason Dixon line, or that they have pride in coming from South of the Mason-Dixon Line and can't understand why people think the Civil War was about slavery.

My last thought, though, is that I don't really care about Ole Miss. Seriously. I couldn't care less if I tried. whatever.

2010-10-06T18:07:00.000-05:00

I caught the end of a documentary on the Pentagon Papers. It was late when I watched it, but I thought they drew a connection between the Watergate scandal and the Pentagon Papers. I read up on Watergate and got confused, because it said the motivation for the break-in that got Nixon in trouble is not officially known.

That's just wikipedia though. Maybe if I had watched the documentary from the beginning, the connection would have been more clear.

The biggest connection I could find in a short period of searching was that the While House Plumbers were involved in both matters. whatever.

Also, the Watergate article indicated a connection between Howard Hughes and Richard Nixon. That's something I don't remember hearing about. Maybe all powerful people are connected, though. I mean, a owner or CEO of a huge company would want to be politically connected. Politicians want financial backing. whatever.

Smooth Operator

2010-10-04T09:20:00.000-05:00

This playlist was specially compiled to make you feel like you are in a Mervyn's shopping for sweaters from the clearance rack.

If you can't see the playlist you can get it here.

2010-10-01T12:57:00.000-05:00

BigTree TopGun is this weeks game of the week.

I found it difficult, even with the difficulty only at Normal. It's pretty addicting, though, definitely a fun way to kill time, as are most well done shooters like this. It reminds me of Galaga, a little bit, but the bugs come from all directions, not just up.

enjoy. I recommend playing this game on a laptop as you sit on your back porch, getting assaulted by mosquitoes. It adds and unexpected layer of intensity to the game. whatever.

2010-10-01T07:45:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was at the Doctor's office. I was sitting in the waiting area, filling out a medical history form when someone came and sat down next to me. I thought it was odd--you know, you're only supposed to sit in an empty chair next to a stranger if there are no other chairs available, but I thought, whatever. Then he started talking to me, "Wasn't I here last time you were here?".
I looked up at him. He was a large black man, probably close to 60 years old, with a friendly face. I'm pretty sure I would have remembered the face, but last time I was at the Doctor's office I was the only one in the waiting area.
"No sir, I don't believe you were," I replied.
"Are you sure--you know all of us black folks look the same?".

There was an uncomfortable moment before he starting laughing hysterically. I couldn't help but laugh also. The laughter didn't last that long before his wife chewed him out,
"There you go, causing trouble again--you leave that man alone! You'd be hopping mad if he had said the same thing to you."
I got the feeling he got in trouble with his wife a lot. Mainly because he got in trouble with his wife about three more times while they were in the office. She was not amused by him in the least. I can only imagine that at one time before they were married she found him funny, but after hearing his jokes for 30+ years, the novelty of his sense of humor wore off.

I still have the feeling there had to be a hidden camera in there somewhere. Perhaps Dave Chappelle had started work on some candid-camera type show that put normal (I use the term loosely with myself) people in awkward situations of racial tension.

whatever.

2010-09-29T08:36:00.000-05:00

I wonder if it sucks to be a former President

Carter feeling normal, observation continuing

Carter got an upset stomach while on a plane ride and ended up spending the night in the hospital. I feel pretty lucky that no one makes me spend the night in the hospital for observation every time I feel sick on a flight. Of course, some of this probably has more to do with Carter being 85 years old and less to do with him being a former president. I do know for a fact that getting old sucks.

whatever.

2010-09-28T08:34:00.001-05:00

A guy I work with was wearing a polo shirt with an elephant on it. When did clothing companies start putting logos on their polo shirts en masse? The two I can think of that have been doing it for awhile have been Ralph Lauren and LaCoste. But now it seems every polo shirt more expensive than the J.C. Penney store brand is putting an animal logo on their shirt. Is this for brand recognition? Or are they really trying just to cater to the inner preschooler in middle-class men?

"I like the shirts with the crocodiles. I don't like the shirts with the horsies. Horsies make me sad. Do you want to watch me draw my name with a crayon?".

Just for the record, the most expensive polo shirts I am willing to buy are the J. C. Penny store brand. I also have a couple of shirts from Walmart. I wonder what kind of animal logos would appear on those shirts... I don't know, maybe a dead fish and a stray cat. I know I advertise my cheapskatedness with the lack of a logo, but what reason is there not to go over the top with this. I'm sure Walmart could come up with an animal logo that would make people embarrassed to be seen at work in their shirts.

"Oh dude, the possum shirt? Really? Are times so hard that you're buying your clothes at Walmart now?".

whatever.

2010-09-27T10:26:00.000-05:00

I ran across a quote today,
"Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing." --John Eskrine

I don't know. You certainly can say mean or sarcastic things in lyrics. There are plenty of examples, but one band renown for cynicism and sarcasm is Steely Dan. "You're so Vain," is certainly a mean song. If the lyrics are sarcastic or mean, it can certainly add a layer of sarcasm to the underlying music.

And if you don't think instrumental music can be cruel or sarcastic, then I encourage you to watch Amadeus, or at least this clip...

To reinforce this point, I think of an On Star commercial that uses the Modest Mouse song Float On. You know the song, "I backed my cop into a cop car the other day; well, he just drove off, sometimes life's OK."
The song features the band yelling "all right" several times. I can't help but thinking the entire song is a least a little sarcastic (if you remain unconvinced, watch the music video), which makes me wonder why they're using it to promote a product that's supposed to make you feel less worried. Is it a simple matter of trying to appeal to people who listened to Modest Mouse and are now in the market for a new car? Is the guy who picked the music for this commercial bitter and sarcastic too, and succeeded in getting one past his manager who never heard this song in its entirety?

I don't know. The real point is that I believe John Eskrine is wrong. I'm sorry if I crushed your hopes that there would be some sort of realm in this world that could exist absent of cruelty. It could be that it depends on your point of view. The naive often fail to catch on to the subtleties of irony and the jaded often read sarcasm into innocence. A bitter person probably thinks the sunsets in an ironic fashion. whatever.

2010-09-23T06:33:00.000-05:00

How to Watch the Super Harvest Moon Twilight Show Today

Apparently there is supposed to be a simultaneous sunset/moonrise. I was on top of a mountain in New Mexico and got so see something like this. I mostly remember Watching a Sunset and turning around to watch a moonrise. The source of this says this last happened 20 years ago, so what I saw must not have been the same as what will happen tonight. I also know that when the moon is on the horizon, it is friggin' awesome.

I may have to climb up on the roof for this one tonight.
No, you're right, I can see myself falling off the roof tonight. Maybe I should just scope out a nice hill with a clear view of both the east and the west somewhere.

According to WeatherUnderground (the weather site, not the terrorist organization), Sunset in Tulsa is at 7:18PM and moonrise is at 7:10PM. whatever...

2010-09-23T06:17:00.001-05:00

I share a new playlist with you.

Enjoy. If you don't see the playlist widget, you can go to this link.

2010-09-22T08:01:00.000-05:00

Why exercise won't make you thin

The title says it all, but there is research that indicates that exercise is not all that helpful for losing weight. I would say the thing that has helped me the most has been logging (not just counting) calorie intake. Unfortunately, if you're going to count calories, you need to be very strict. You have to count everything. That can get really hard in certain situations. It's not too hard to find calorie content for most foods--even homemade foods. It can be hard to measure (and stick to) portion sizes for foods.

My point is, in my limited experience, the article seems correct. Which makes me wonder why I exercise. No, there are reasons beyond weight loss to exercise. I think the positive effects on mood and blood pressure are among them. whatever.

The point is, exercise by itself isn't a great weight loss tool. You don't believe me? Try this. Go run a mile and a half. Just do it. Stop reading and run.
I'm waiting...
How long did that take you?
6 minutes--I doubt it, if you're in that good of shape you are probably one of the few people in the world who are at the same level of activity as Michael Phelps and need to worry about getting enough calories.
If you're in the kind of shape I'm in, it probably took you somewhere closer to 15 minutes. If this is the case, you probably burned about 150 calories. Just an estimate.
Now, drink a can of Coke. Your favorite sugary beverage will work. Just drink it.
How long did that take you? It could probably take me as little as a minute to drink a Coke without even chugging.
How much satisfaction did that get you? Probably not much. Do you feel like it was an equal trade. If the only way to get a Coke were to run a mile and a half, would you say it's worth it? Just curious.

whatever.

2010-09-20T12:02:00.001-05:00

You lost the right to be the better man, and what follows is a lesson in humility. If you can learn to exercise some rationality and patience, the advantage will come back to you in time. And if you listen to the wisdom you already know, you know you won't need to exercise the advantage when it comes back to you.

You never listen when they tell you to calm down, but it's the best advice you've got right now. Find what's left of your peace of mind. If you can help it survive it will help you overcome the anger you're trying to lose.

You think you're long suffering, but I don't know if you've ever really suffered. This pain won't last for long, you have yet to convince me you can make it to short-hurting. Let's get there first before you try something that may beyond your grasp.

You realize you can't do it on your own. That's the smartest thought you've had in days. I'll be praying for you.

Hang in there. I know I said you can't do it on your own, but I didn't say you can't do it at all. You can do it, I'm counting on it.

2010-09-15T08:03:00.000-05:00

Someone told me the other day that DDT never should have been banned and the book that was instrumental in getting it banned, Silent Spring, was a fraud. I won't forget the argument used, "You can find stuff on the internet about how it's a fraud--look it up." At that point, I stopped arguing. I don't enjoy arguing politics. I don't mind listening to well formed opinions, even if I disagree with them.
Anyway, there are good sources of information on the internet as well as questionable sources of information, so I looked it up. There are several things out there, of course, but this was the most rational one I could find:

Was Rachel Carson a fraud and is DDT actually safe for humans?
The article itself is interesting. To summarize the article:
1. DDT was overused before Silent Spring. The book was a warning against the use of chemicals like DDT without measuring their health and environmental affects.
2. DDT has not been linked to cancer in research performed since the book came out.
3. DDT is effective at killing mosquitoes, which spread malaria.
4. India still uses DDT, but it has not stopped malaria altogether.
5. DDT resistant mosquitoes have appeared in India.
6. DDT was also rumored to cause the endangerment of birds. There is no conclusive scientific evidence to support this.

Maybe the article is full of crap. I don't know. whatever.

2010-09-10T13:27:00.000-05:00

I always thought the first part of the lyrics to "God Only Knows" were a little weird.

"I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
I'll make you so sure about it"

They seem a little egocentric to me. And along those lines, it's a shame they didn't make the rest of the song match.

"If I should ever leave you
Though life would still go on, believe me
The world could show nothing to you
So what good would livin' do you
God only knows what you'd be without me"

By the way, I have been doing this opposite band stuff in my head long before Jon Bovi debuted on SNL. My wife doesn't believe me. I don't expect you to either. whatever.

2010-09-09T07:25:00.000-05:00

My son saw me throwing darts last night. He asked me, "Are those bug bites?". He pointed to my hand. I thought he was pointing to something on my skin, but he was pointing to the darts. I tried explaining that they were darts. He still didn't understand.

I forget how confusing new things were when I was young. I remember watching football with my dad when I was 4 (I think). The Raiders and the Broncos were playing. I saw one of the teams huddle up and I thought we were watching a Cowboys and Indians movie--I think the huddle reminded me of circling the wagons. I didn't know what raiders or broncos were, even outside of football. I thought they were names for Indian tribes or groups of cowboys. My dad told me to root for the Broncos, but I told him I wanted to root for the Raiders instead (something that brings me great pain to admit).

I also remember watching football another time around the same age. The only part I remember was a fumble. Someone dived on the ball and everyone else on the field dived on top of him. I thought maybe the point of football was to dogpile on the other team. I was disappointed when I watched a game later on and that didn't happen.

whatever.

2010-09-08T08:11:00.000-05:00

I'm going to have to take back what I said about Fantasy Football earlier.
I still enjoy it--at least when the drafts don't take more than an hour.

I did one last night that was a lot of fun, because most of the people in the draft were in the same room, even though it was hosted online by ESPN.

whatever.

2010-09-06T21:44:00.000-05:00

I saw a CNN headline:
Are Sex Tapes a Fast Track to Fame?
The handrew is planning on doing a little experiment to find out...

I'm only joking, of course, that would be inane. Don't tell me you didn't get your hopes up though...we all know the truth. whatever.

2010-09-05T22:55:00.000-05:00

I had to make myself take Gorilla Manor by Local Natives out of the CD player in my car today. I have listened to it way too much.

I remember several albums I've done that with, but few I've done that with recently. I don't know if it has more to do with how I listen to music now or if it's more a sign of my age. A number of them come to mind. XO by Elliot Smith. Whatever and Ever, Amen by Ben Folds Five. I think the last one I did this with was Young Modern by Silverchair.

More recently, I've tried to avoid overplaying CDs I liked just so I wouldn't get sick of them too quickly. I don't know if I forgot about that with Gorilla Manor or if I ignored it because I just couldn't bring myself to stop listening to it.

whatever. If you haven't given Gorilla Manor a serious listen, I'm recommending that you do. I'm hoping it grows on you the way it grew on me.

2010-09-05T22:46:00.000-05:00

I saw something on Google Reader about researchers who claim they can determine something about your personality by the position you sleep in. I don't know. I'm temped to put this in the psystrology category--you know, things that sound like they have psychological, scientific backing but are little more than superstition.

You know why I think this? Because they listed 6 sleep positions. And the limited numbers of personality traits didn't seem to cover everyone I know.

Of course, it's possible that the people I know that I think don't fit into any of the six positions could be people who just don't sleep.

And what about astronauts? Do their personalities change when they go into space because there is no "down" in zero-g? Don't they sleep in sleeping bags that are attached to the wall?

And what about people who sleep in various positions? "You seem awfully reserved today, did you sleep in the fetal position last night?". whatever.

Here's one link to the story. It's not the one I came across in Google reader, but then finding things I read can be a bit of a pain in the reader. Sorry I can't reference the source that directed me to this, but for your benefit, all the information is the same. whatever.

2010-09-05T21:53:00.000-05:00

How often does this happen? I come to blogger hoping to write something, and draw a blank. Faced with nothing to write about, I start writing about myself or even about this blog. They usually end up being little nothing posts--and I even wonder if anyone ever reads them.
Sometimes, though, people mention something from them. Actually, one thing that got mentioned was that someone thought I have low self-esteem. It's not the first time this has been mentioned. People who don't even read my blog have mentioned concerns to me. It could have nothing to do with my writing. whatever.
I don't think I have low self esteem. If anything, my struggle is with narcissism. Of course, narcissism and poor self esteem don't have to be mutually exclusive. Narcissism can cause a person to think about himself too much. If the person is aware of his own failings, narcissism can amplify any self-esteem problems he already had.
Perhaps I deal with that. What I think is more likely is that I use the guise of poor self-esteem as a cover for my narcissism.

But that's enough about me.

2010-09-03T15:30:00.001-05:00

I said I had an idea for a gameshow to reduce overpopulaiton. Here it is:

America's Funniest Home Sterilization Videos

Yes, it is what you think it is. People perform procedures on themselves that eliminate the possibility of them reproducing. They videotape the operation and send it into the show. The people filmed in the best (or only) submissions are flown to Hollywood. They are examined by a fertility specialist who certifies that the contestants can no longer reproduce. The videos are shown to a studio audience, who vote on their favorite procedure. The winners each week get $10,000 and are entered in the contest at the end of the season for the $100,000 grand prize.

Of course it's a bad idea. No, I don't expect anyone to take this idea seriously.

Clash for Clunkers

2010-09-03T13:31:00.000-05:00

I wanted to expound on the Clash for Clunkers idea I had for the game show.

It goes like this--a group of demolition derby drivers go from town to town putting on demolition derbies. The drivers, though, have to pick a car that someone is actually driving as their primary vehicle. Each week, the drivers show up in a new city and are given instructions about what type of car they are going to be driving in the derby. The idea is that they find old gas guzzlers to run in the derby.

The first half of the show is the drivers searching for the type of car they need and convincing the drivers to let them use it in the derby. Everyone driving a "clunker" that gets used in the derby is given a new, fuel efficent vehicle. In fact, at the location of the derby, all of the "replacement" cars are delivered. People who allow their old cars to go in the derby get to pick a new car once it's over. Who ever owned the car that "won" gets first pick. The entire pick order is determined by the results of the derby.

Of course, it might be more entertaining if the owners drove their own cars, but from a safety point of view, that seems like a bad idea. If would be nice if the owners could do something to help their car win, but I think the show would be entertaining enough without that.

Anyway, this idea is dedicated to the Discovery Channel. The lunatic who attacked you earlier this week thought there should be shows that discourage people from contributing to overpopulation and pollution. I'd hate to justify his actions, but I thought this idea was too good not to mention.

I do have an idea for a game show to reduce overpopulation, as well.

2010-09-01T15:58:00.000-05:00

Windows Phone 7 Code Finalized

Why would you want Windows 7 on your phone? I'm pretty serious about this. I used a phone last year that had a mobile version of Windows XP and it was hard to use. That was aside from the fact that it was bad at doing everything it was intended for.

Apparently, there is some demand for this, or Microsoft wouldn't have invested in it, right? I guess that logical conclusion assumes Microsoft did market research before or during the development of Windows Phone 7. I'm still not sure that there is anyone who wants to see the blue screen of death on their phone. Maybe there is.

"Man, I love this phone, but it's too bad it's not more like a computer."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I just love Microsoft Word so much, I want to be able to use it on the toilet."
"I'm sure there's an app for that on the iPhone."
"No, but I really want to pay extra for MSOffice 2010 and install MSWord on my phone. I want the Ribbon menu and everything. I just think that would be really cool."

Yeah, you may be right--it may be possible to do that with Windows XP mobile phones. I don't care. I'm not going to take the time to research this, because it doesn't really matter.

2010-09-01T15:31:00.002-05:00

Suspect in Maryland hostage situation published angry online manifesto

This guy is holding hostages at the Discovery Channel HQ in Maryland. That's pretty sad, but his rationality doesn't make much sense to me. I know, his rationality should already be in question just because he thought a hostage situation could help him advance his cause. The best outcome is that no one gets hurt and he goes to jail, the worst outcome involves the death of innocent people. Aside from that major thing, the reasons he had for picking the target he picked are a mystery to me.

'An angry manifesto posted on a website called SaveThePlanetProtest.com repeatedly refers to humans as "filth" and demands that the Discovery Channel "stop encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants."
"Civilization must be exposed for the filth it is," the 1,149-word statement says.
"Humans are the most destructive, filthy, pollutive creatures around and are wrecking what's left of the planet with their false morals and breeding culture," it continues.
Lee also blasts immigration, farming, weapons of mass destruction, automotive pollution "and the whole blasted human economy."
He demands that the Discovery Channel broadcast daily prime-time shows devoted to "solutions to save the planet," perhaps in a game-show format, insisting "Make it interesting so people watch and apply solutions!!!!"'

Don't get me wrong, I can understand why an environmentalist might think humanity is the scourge of the planet (not to say I agree with that belief). I can't see how changing the programming on the Discovery Channel changes that. I mean, if you think the problem is with the media, why did you pick the Discovery Channel and not CBS or CNN or Fox News? To me, this hostage situation wouldn't be that different from kidnapping a Nova film crew to try to solve global warming. For one, no one cares about Nova, except nerds (myself included). For two, Nova occasionally does environmental science stories that might help the case of the person doing the kidnapping in this hypothetical situation.

Maybe I haven't been watching the Discovery Channel that much, but I haven't seen much from them that encourages people to reproduce and pollute more. There is Mythbusters, which always involves blowing something up, but if it weren't for that show, would anybody still watch the Discovery Channel?

And what's up with this "save the planet" game show idea? Is that the best idea you have? What did you have in mind, Bob Barker hosting "The Mileage is Right", where people try to guess the mileage of different forms of transportation and have the opportunity to upgrade their ride to a more fuel efficient vehicle? Maybe they could turn the "Cash for Clunkers" into a game show, "Clash for Clunkers."

I tell you what, James Lee, if you let the people at the Discovery Channel go unharmed, I'll come up with eight more game show ideas you can pitch to the networks. Hostage situations aren't funny and I'm sure no one is enjoying this. I'm really good at coming up with ideas, and once I've posted them, I won't sue you or anything if you're able to get it produced. I'm not sure I can help you in the reducing the population department, but I might be able to take on the pollution problem. In case you don't think I'm serious, I gave you two in advance, remember--"The Mileage is Right" and "Clash for Clunkers".

Please just let the hostage(s) go without any trouble...

2010-08-31T13:50:00.000-05:00

I saw a headline: Sarah Palin to visit Iowa: Think you know what that means?

And it made me wonder--if someone visiting Iowa leads people to believe they're going to run for President, then if i were to visit Iowa, would people think I'm going to run for President?

I sure hope so. whatever.

2010-08-28T19:40:00.000-05:00

Diets are weird. I've been counting calories because it seems like the simplest practical solution for me, but I think it's probably one of people's least favorite diets. The NYTimes had an article on a man who pioneered 'the 'idea that losing weight depends on what you eat, not how much'. He 'contended that counting calories to lose weight is a “scientific swindle.” He argued that a “survival instinct” leads the body, after an initial weight loss, to store fat.'

Of course the interesting thing in the article is a statement later on:
'The diet is basically a delightful, joyous swindle,” Dr. Marian Afpfelbaum, a nutrition professor at the Bichat medical school in Paris, said in 1993.'
'He added, “Interesting as these possibilities have been, the verdict over the decades seems to be that regardless of the components in the diet, the total caloric intake is the more important factor in prevention or treatment of obesity.”'

So, you know, both people can't be right. They could both be wrong. It reminds me a bit of a debate between religions. Of course, this isn't a debate over the ruler of the afterlife where nothing can be proven in the natural realm. This should be something that could easily be solved by rigorous scientific testing. I, of course, wouldn't know where to begin with that. For my purposes, I'm trying to stick with calories in < calories out. I've lost 9 pounds from when I started, and I've got 20 more to go to get back to a healthy BMI.

But back to the diet debates--it's not like both diets can't work. I don't really know. The only reason one of the people I quoted has to be wrong is because they each said "I'm right and the other is trying to swindle you." I'm sure you can find anecdotal evidence to support any diet under the sun. A number of people seem to have all sorts of success with diets in the short term. I'm more concerned with trying to find something I can make work for the rest of my life.

Of course, eating whatever I want and not exercising would work for the rest of my life, even if it killed me by the time I turned 40. I think what I really mean is that I'm hoping I can make a change to my lifestyle to improve my health. whatever.

2010-08-26T16:14:00.000-05:00

Someone told me I should post movie reviews on my blog. There are a few problems with that:
1. I don't watch many movies.
2. I watch movies so rarely that sometimes when I go, I am happy just to be watching a movie and forget how lousy the movie I'm watching really is.
3. My opinion on things is generally worthless.

On the other hand, ignorance has never kept me from criticizing other things I don't understand. I certainly don't factor in the value of my opinion when I state it on other things. Why should it stop me from critiquing movies?

So here's one: Inception.
The movie was awesome. I was entertained the entire time. It also required some thinking to keep up with the story line, but it wasn't difficult to follow as long as you paid attention.

Certain things in the movie reminded me of The Matrix. I think the whole idea of building and manipulating a simulated world where the laws of physics are not applied as consistently as they are in "the real world" is identical to that within The Matrix. The Matrix is in a computer program, whereas with Inception they work within a chemically shared dream state. Along those lines, this is probably also the best movie I've seen that's borrowed anything from The Matrix.

Spoiler Alert: I'm not going to give away the ending, but if you haven't seen it, it's best that you stop reading anyway. A lot of people were frustrated with the ending to the movie. I was not one of them.

In summary, go see the movie. I am skeptical that I will see a better movie this year. But then, that may have more to do with how likely I am to not see any movies for the rest of the year than with the quality of Inception. whatever.

The next movie I will review is Singing in the Rain. I know you think that's a joke of some sort.

It's not.

2010-08-26T08:01:00.000-05:00

Someone posted this tweet: 'The main idea of "Inception": if you run a VM inside a VM inside a VM inside a VM, everything will be very slow'.

I disagree. If the dream is like a Virtual Machine, then the way it worked in Inception would be: if you run a VM inside a VM inside a VM inside a VM, everything will be very fast.

Unless I have it backwards--is reality like a VM in a dream? No, that doesn't make sense. Of course, our brains are not computers, dreams are not Virtual Machines, inception is fiction, and everything that makes the joint dreaming possible is just pretend, so the whole thing is moot.

Besides, I thought the main idea of Inception was:
1. We are not really aware of everything that goes into how or what we think.
2. Dreams are indistinguishable from reality when you are dreaming (reminds me of Thomas's statement that consciousness is an illusion).

Even if you are going to have an academic conversation about a movie, at least get it right.

2010-08-25T00:02:00.000-05:00

I am almost done with cnn.com. I went there tonight, hoping to catch up on news I may have missed. What I saw was:
1. A story I already saw on thisisphotobomb.
2. Something about Van der Sloot (don't care)
3. Something about Loham (don't care)
4. Something about a cat being put in the garbage (don't care)
5. Something about Slash, the guitarist (don't care)

Don't get me wrong, there were at least 15 news worthy headlines on the site. I just wish they'd cut the crap. Celebrity gossip news should stay on sites that deal with that. I fail to understand what is so special about a cat being in garbage--I've seen dozens of strays in garbage, particularly dumpsters. There must have been something cruel or grotesque for it to qualify as news, but still, I don't care about what happened to one random cat at the hands of one random person. It's not news. Van der Sloot is news, just not every little detail about him. I guess I would give cnn.com a pass on the photobomb story, except that it was the central headline.

Maybe it's a slow news day. Maybe I just need to stop going to cnn.com and get my news from more serious sources.

2010-08-24T23:09:00.001-05:00

Driving home from Wichita, there's a sign that says: "Lodging next exit". You know the type of sign, they're blue and normally list hotels. This sign lists four places at the exit, one of which is a Kentucky Fried Chicken. I keep on forgetting to take a picture of the sign to submit to the Fail Blog until after I pass it.

I'm not sure in which way it's a fail. It could be a fail because the sign incorrectly lists KFC as a place of lodging, but there's another possibility that scares me. It is possible that in a certain town in Kansas you can spend the night at KFC.

I know a lot of people like to make fun of how fat America is. I don't think simply pointing this out and making fun of our obesity is the solution, but if you can really stay at a KFC, I might be inclined to agree with them.

whatever.

2010-08-24T15:45:00.001-05:00

Note to self: Don't refuse a compliment.

Starving the Narcisist in my Soul

2010-08-23T08:34:00.001-05:00

My wife read my post last night and told me, "Even if you don't think you're important, you're family here thinks you are."

Those kind words were nice to hear, but I wasn't fishing for them last night. When I talked about the desire to be important, I wasn't talking about being needed my family. That doesn't really feed my ego. After thinking about that, I realized that is what my desire for "importance" is about--satisfying the ego. Egos are generally best left denied, or else they can overtake your soul and turn you into a narcissist.

Anyway, just to clear this up, I wasn't feeling worthless last night, merely acknowledging how common I am. I do realize how important I am to my wife and children. That translates into responsibility. Unlike dreams of grandeur, responsibility doesn't feed my ego, which I think is a good thing.

Perhaps some day I will stop thinking of myself too much. It would certainly be better for everyone if I thought of myself a little less, but it's not an easy thing to do. I guess it's like putting my ego on a diet.

2010-08-22T22:37:00.001-05:00

I have been thinking about something for awhile, but on the way to church this morning I heard about Revolutionary Road and was reminded of it yet again.

In First Kings chapter 4, there is a story of how God came to Solomon in a dream and asked him what he wanted. Solomon asked for a "discerning heart", and God's response was, "Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for—both riches and honor—so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings."

The way it was paraphrased to me in school was that Solomon could have asked for money or fame, but instead he asked for wisdom, and because he asked for wisdom instead of money and fame, God gave him all three. I don't know if the point they were trying to convey when they told me this story in school is that seeking out wisdom will always bring you money and fame or that it is just better in general to seek out wisdom than it is to seek out riches or fame. I would argue that the truth lies more in the latter. I don't think there is any guarantee that finding wisdom will bring money or fame, and certainly not both.

But aside from that, one thing that has bothered me in the past is what would I choose if the choice were given to me? I know the right answer (wisdom), since it's been taught to me, but sincerely, which would I choose? I remember thinking when I was younger, I certainly wouldn't choose fame over wisdom, but money seems like it would be a hard choice to pass up. Recently, though, I've also been thinking that Fame would be nice too. Don't get me wrong--I don't want the kind of fame people like Mel Gibson and Lindsay Lohan have. I don't want everyone to know when I say something I shouldn't or make some small (or huge) mistake. I don't want to have a public life. But I do find myself with a desire to be someone important. I find myself wanting to leave behind a legacy or become part of history, and yet honestly, I have little hope for having that.

And this is what it comes back to for me:
1. I find no end to my material wants. There is no amount of money that can satisfy them. There is every possibility that I could wear myself out trying to get rich to
   a. End up with relatively nothing to show for it.
   b. End up with much money and still be discontent.
   c. End up with much money, still be discontent, and alienate my family and friends.
If my only goal in life is to accumulate money, there seems to be much to lose and little to gain.
2. I find myself deceived, to some extent, in to believing I should be more important than I really am. This is where I find something in common with what I heard about Revolutionary Road. Something inside of me feels that I'll have failed to achieve my potential if I don't become someone notable, but really, what is there to lead me to believe this should be the case? Wouldn't my life be better spent without trying to live up to artificial expectations?
3. God may not come to me in a dream and ask me what I want, but something similar does happen for me every day. I often have opportunities to set my desires. To often my desires are preoccupied by what can be reduced to money or fame.

I think that if I were to desire wisdom more than money or fame, I may not get money or fame, but I do stand a chance of living more fulfilling life if I do.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. whatever. When am I going to stop writing about the Bible and get back to making fun of myself? Don't worry, it'll happen soon enough.

2010-08-20T12:48:00.000-05:00

I'm not a Rush Limbaugh fan. I once was, but I've lost a lot of respect for him over the last 6 years or so. I think it's a combination of things that has led me to this. His prescription drug abuse certainly had an impact on my perception of him. There have also been a number of events over the past 6 years in which my beliefs conflicted with those of other conservatives or the resulting data suggested that certain particular conservative dogma had been proven wrong. Among the things that come to mind are Teri Shiavo's case, the collapse of the banking industry, the effects of the Bush Tax Cuts and deficit spending on inflation leading up to the the crisis, the avocation of torture for suspected terrorists and growing evidence of Global Warming (mainly rising oceans).

Of course, Rush Limbaugh has a particularly effective way of unifying the opinions. I wouldn't call dittoheads brain dead morons, as some people might prefer to. These people are often very good at critical thinking. The problem I have with Limbaugh's strategy of calling anyone who disagrees with him on any major issue a liberal. There are other problems I have with this one, but this is the big one.

Now, I didn't write this to criticize Limbaugh, more just to say I'm going to quote something from his show I heard one time that I do agree with, and I can anticipate most objections to the source of the quote. I don't think he's wrong about this one thing (actually he probably is right about several things). There are many people I have no respect for who get things right once in awhile.

The quote is this, "There's no reason you can't be happy now." To paraphrase the context, many people are unhappy with their current situation in life and say, "when I get the new house I'll be happy" or "when I graduate I'll be happy". Most of the time, there really is no reason you can't be happy now.

I think he's right about this. I can even think of something Paul said to that extent, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Philippians 4:12.

I'm not proposing this as an alternative to delayed gratification, which I also think is valuable. Many times, gratification can be delayed, but more often than not, happiness doesn't have to be. Happiness is an attitude you chose, not an emotion you receive.

I would reiterate, there are times and situations where happiness is not a choice. 'There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...a time to weep and a time to laugh...' (Ecclesiastes 3:1&4).

But if we get more to the point, your happiness shouldn't depend on what you have. It's something I have to remind myself of far too often. whatever.

2010-08-19T16:40:00.000-05:00

It's always weird to see people I haven't seen since high school. Sometimes they instantly recognize me and sometimes they don't. It's hard for me to say how much my appearance has changed since high school, but most of these people's appearances have changed quite a bit since high school. I saw one person at the security checkpoint in the airport who was able to recognize me, although I didn't recognize him until he told me his name. whatever.

Standardized Food Warnings

2010-08-18T17:11:00.000-05:00

I got another idea: why don't manufacturers standardize their food warnings and information in an easy to read way?
I was thinking something like the following:

If you're shopping for food and you saw the sticker on the product, you wouldn't buy it if you had a peanut allergy. Or lets say you don't have a peanut allergy, but you're on a gluten free diet, you could buy the product. They could put this sticker on the same panel of the box that they put the nutritional information. If you're starting a gluten free diet, your doctor could tell you to look for the "Green G" on the nutritional panel.

I think this would benefit food companies and consumers a lot. The companies that go to the effort of making their product gluten free (which can take quite an effort for certain products) have a clear way to advertise this fact. Consumers who want to know what they can buy have something plain and obvious.

It even standardizes warnings, which may even afford some protection for the companies from litigation.

Although I know I'm blindly sharing this with people who can do nothing about it, I am hoping that someone who works for the FDA or a food manufacturer will come across it on the Internet and use it. It's a free idea. Please steal it.

2010-08-17T22:23:00.000-05:00

I'm always afraid to bring up topics in conversation with people I know read my blog on an infrequent basis about which I have posted.

Sometimes they haven't read the post and a conversation ensues and sometimes they have and it's like listening to a rerun of the handrew (not as much fun as it sounds). I've been tempted to say sometimes, "did you read my blog today?". That's kind of pretentious, though.

Of course, if I were a more interesting person, I would have new exciting things to talk about as well as blog about and there would be little or no redundancy. whatever. There are some things you just have to accept. I just count myself lucky that there are people willing to talk to me.

2010-08-17T15:54:00.000-05:00

Sometimes there are two different threads of email that come together in such a way that you want to write one email. Unfortunately, you can only pick one to forward or reply to. What do you do if you want to compose an email that responds to two different threads with one email? You could paste the text of one thread above or below the other, but it would probably look like the one thread was part of the other. You could attach the two different threads as text or email attachments, but I am not a big fan of email attachments. Actually, text or pdf would be ok, it's the attachments where you're not sure what's in them that worry me.

I have an idea. I think this idea could work in something like gmail that treats these threads of email as "conversations". If the email had a merge conversation feature, you could reply to one of the emails and "merge" in another conversation. When you looked at the conversation history, the two separate conversations would appear side-by-side so that it was clear they were parallel until you merged them into your latest email.

I think this could be made to work easily in gmail. Unfortunately, I don't know how it could be made to work with standard email, and more importantly for the business-related emails that would benefit the most, with Outlook and Thunderbird.

Anyway, this idea is free. Of course, the hardest thing about creating something new isn't thinking of the idea, it's implementing it. whatever.

I remember Josh mentioning a site where you can submit your ideas. I may see if they have a way for me to submit ideas like this. whatever.

2010-08-17T10:11:00.000-05:00

I'm really surprised that the top auto-complete suggestion on Google for "how to" is "how to kiss". Is it really that hard to figure out? whatever.

2010-08-17T08:29:00.000-05:00

My wife asked me what it's like to never cry. I remember crying a few times, and there have been some recent times I had to fight back tears.

I don't know. It feels pretty normal.

I did find myself fighting back tears yesterday after I found out about my classmate. It affected me more than I thought it would. It doesn't seem fair that he died so young. Of course, I would be hard pressed to say when a person is finally old enough to die. I still think of my 80-year-old grandparents as too young to die.

I remember my principal at my high school telling me about people he went to high school with living recklessly and dying within a few years after graduation. I don't know anyone like that. It could be my classmates weren't all that reckless or the reckless ones were just lucky. I don't know. The guy who died didn't live recklessly, from what I've heard.

I kind of expect things like this to happen. I would expect the odds of someone you went to school with dying before 30 are pretty high. Expecting something like this doesn't make it easier.

2010-08-16T16:04:00.000-05:00

Someone I knew in High School died. It's weird. I hadn't seen him since High School, so it's not like I lost a close friend.

I'd say "whatever.", but I don't want to give the impression that I don't care that he lost his life. What exactly do you say? I don't know.

May you rest in peace, old friend.

2010-08-14T23:51:00.000-05:00

I'm watching PBS right now. It's Augustfest 2010. I normally can't stand their fund drive, but there isn't much else on right now.

Someone on the air said something along the lines of "more money equals more programs". I don't know...they seem to do a pretty good job filling the air waves right now. By that I mean, they seem to have a program airing all the time. Did he really mean, "the more money we get the less crap we have to show"? Because if that's the case I'd consider donating just so they could air something better than Woodwright's Shop. That has to be one of the worst shows ever. They guy makes stuff with old tools. Let me be more specific--he uses antique tools to make stuff the hard way. He spent ten minutes in one episode making a nail (at least that's how I remember it). I think that show is the opposite of the New Yankee Workshop. Norm Abram can do some amazing things. I have trouble following a lot of what he does. I learn something new every time I watch his show. When I watch Woodwright's shop, all I learn is how lucky I am to live in 2010 and not 1892. whatever.

Maybe I should call and ask them how much I have to pledge to keep Woodwright's shop off the air. Chances are there are people who'd miss it if the local PBS station stopped showing it. I'd hate to deprive them of their joy. I'll use that as my reason to watch PBS without ever sending them money. whatever.

2010-08-14T22:19:00.000-05:00

A lot of noise has been made about this flight attendant who quit his job using an emergency exit. He's been called a folk hero by some (I have no idea who). I'd hate to add to the noise, but I heard something on the radio today about how a lot of veteran flight attendants wish they could do what they could do.

I have to counter this with an opinion I know I am not alone in holding, but have yet to hear: I think airlines should get rid of 90% of their veteran flight attendants. I hate flight attendants. I remember my dad calling them the "waitresses of the sky" 15 years ago, complaining about how rude they were. I can only imagine that they have gotten worse.

I only fly domestic, and I typically fly American or Southwest. Southwest's flight attendants aren't too bad, in my opinion, although there has been some bad press for them kicking hot girls off flights as well as Silent Bob, but in general, as long as they don't sing, I don't mind them. American's flight attendants are horrible. Most of them look old. They're rude. They remind me of a disgruntled elementary school teachers who hate their jobs and hate their students. Honestly, though, I don't blame them. I would act the same way if I had to deal with flying and passengers for 20+ years. Of course, the job of flight attendant has never appealed to me...

The point is, when I get on a flight with an airline that I feel is ripping me off and the second I step on the plane someone from the airline sneers at me because I'm wearing a backpack--I'm not going to be too happy to comply the second time that person asks me to do something--even if it is required by the FAA.

Travel sucks. It's been this way for decades. It's going to be this way until humanity forgets how to build and fly airplanes. Of course, there are worse things than air travel. I think wagon trains were pretty back. Riding in the back seat of the car with your brother can suck (especially if you're my brother). I remember riding on a Greyhound. That wasn't fun.

I just wish people wouldn't celebrate a flight attendant with an attitude. I also wish the airlines would get a little bit more fresh blood in their flight attendant workforce. whatever.

And don't get me wrong--I hate being on flights with rude/unruly/selfish passengers as much as the next guy. Maybe they should start allowing smoking on airplanes again. Either that or hand out Valium when they scan your ticket.